


oxygen

by apocrypha_luxe



Series: take a torch to my defences [3]
Category: Naruto
Genre: And coffee, Emotional Vulnerability, Idiots in Love, M/M, and a lot of trust, and sunrise handjobs, but mostly just feelings, hyuga-style tantric sex, in shikamaru's beautiful home, like breakfast, neji POV, sex tears, some sensible things too, spending the night, thank the gods for youthful refractory periods
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-11
Updated: 2020-04-11
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:08:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 19,728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23592106
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/apocrypha_luxe/pseuds/apocrypha_luxe
Summary: These moments had been taking Neji equally off guard, this sense that they'd found something that was about to turn their entire world upside down, breathtaking and beautiful and yes, utterly terrifying. He ran his hand down Shikamaru's chest, offered up a tentative smile, a lifeline, if not to solid ground then at least to himself. They could be adrift together.'I'm as out of my depth as you are, Shikamaru. Land slipped out of sight days ago…'He trailed his fingers back up to the dip of Shikamaru's throat, out along his collarbone.'...I feel like I'm changing course without a map.'
Relationships: Hyuuga Neji/Nara Shikamaru
Series: take a torch to my defences [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1663261
Comments: 21
Kudos: 79





	oxygen

**Author's Note:**

> Part 3, in which we get inside Neji's head and discover he's also working through some Feelings, spending the night is a Big Deal, and a few days can be enough to change Everything.

Time slowed as he stepped over the threshold and into Shikamaru's home, the stillness feeling like a promise, a veil drawing aside. A flash of green caught his eye and he paused a moment to admire the delicate beauty of the ikebana tucked into the tokonoma, sweeping curves of lush foliage tipped in fire and gold, a testament both to the skill of its creator and their understanding of something essential in Shikamaru's nature. It felt like him, wildness coaxed into the appearance of order. Ino's work, if he were to guess. His eyes flickered to a scroll hanging on the wall behind it, a prayer to Omoikane. _Of course._ He smiled as he stepped further into the room, the air pressing close and warm from the heat of the day, blanketing his night-chilled skin as though the cabin itself were inviting him into an embrace. 

_Stay, spend the night with me._

He had never said yes before. Not to anyone. Not to spending the night, not to…well. Not to many things. He felt a flush paint his throat, the sensation of drifting through uncharted waters rising again, something he was starting to realise might be an intrinsic part of drawing close to Shikamaru. The lack of direction should be making him uneasy, but somehow the deeper he turned his gaze inwards the only thing he found simmering there was the thrill of discovery. Shikamaru made him feel _alive._

Neji took a deep breath, seeking calm through the burning in his blood, drew in the scent of the forest mingling with incense smoke long since soaked into the walls and felt another part of himself relax. His body ached, the ghost of Shikamaru's touch still lingering on his skin. Deeper. He craved his hands, his mouth, his breathy words that shattered the ice behind his ribs, craved more in every place Shikamaru had laid to exquisite ruin. He could feel an answering heat still smouldering in Shikamaru's chakra where he was paused behind him closing the door and lighting an oil lamp and he wanted to reach out and pull him close, fan those embers into wildfire. He drew another centering breath as he discarded his sandals, the longing in his core like a metronome, the sense of vulnerability that had settled on his shoulders feeling nothing like the burden he'd been preparing himself for. Instead he felt made of light, soft and warm and safe, full to overflowing with gentle, desirous things. 

He sought a distraction from the curling tendrils of hunger as he left the entryway and directed his attention to the home itself, his breath catching at the sight of the incredible tsuboniwa that ran down the middle of the house, more akin to an indoor forest than an indoor courtyard, a lush mass of bamboo and dwarf maples recessed down to ground level, mossy stepping stones almost lost amidst dark gravel and the sweeping fan of low ferns. Glass sliding doors designed to box it in during bad weather were pushed open wide and the greenery reached out from its confines, invited calm, blurred boundaries, _gods_ it was _stunning._ His eyes slipped from the wild sprawl to the bare timber floors, tatami replaced with an eclectic collection of rugs, dark timber worn smooth with age. Cushions were piled invitingly by a cast iron fireplace and suddenly he longed for winter nights here, a finely carved camphor trunk being used as a coffee table sat between a deep, soft couch and a wingbacked armchair. A shogi board rested on a side table, still set up mid-game. Books had been stacked into listing towers and tucked down the side of furniture. Neji wandered through the room and made himself slow down and take it all in, felt the aged texture of the rug under his bare feet, gaze tripping over all the little details that made this a home, a sanctuary. 

He'd heard mention over the years of the Nara lands containing many buildings like this, often sitting uninhabited but well cared for, and he wondered when Shikamaru had moved into this one. It was a bit much for him alone, a home clearly built with a small family in mind, a future far removed from the path he'd always felt he himself were walking. He wondered whether Shikamaru had contemplated a life like that. 

Everything was settled here, comfortable. A little modern and a little traditional, messy but somehow still organised, a deliberateness and structure to the chaos that was utterly _Shikamaru._ The thought brought a smile to his lips as he reached out to run fingers over the back of the armchair, a blanket draped haphazardly over its shoulder, and imagined Shikamaru picking them out, arranging them. He felt very aware all of a sudden that he was seeing so much more than most people ever got to, that this was so much more than just being welcomed inside Shikamaru's home. It was a glimpse into another part of Shikamaru that he kept intensely private. Another moment of trust that was stealing a little more of Neji's breath from his lungs. 

He'd been here once before but hadn't seen anything beyond the veranda where they'd spent an afternoon playing shogi in the heat of summer. Shikamaru hadn't invited him inside, and Neji hadn't asked, had felt a wall there and knew Shikamaru hadn't been ready to let him closer. It had been a perfect afternoon, nonetheless. They'd played for a couple of hours, shared chilled tea and teasing remarks, and Neji could still recall the feeling of sweat trickling down his spine even in the shade, could still recall the lazy smiles drawn so easily to Shikamaru's lips and the way he'd watched Neji with all the intent of a seasoned tactician. And with something a little warmer. Those early sparks of attraction had been difficult to ignore, a hint of what might grow between them with the smallest encouragement lingering in the shadowy edges of his awareness. Neji had tried to ease away from it over and over again, but the Nara felt magnetic, and each time he'd flash Neji one of those rare, enigmatic smiles he'd feel his resolve crumble. 

These last few days had left his head spinning, a hurricane that no amount of training or meditation could seem to settle. He had tried to convince himself to leave this be, reason crashing up against longing and desire, chaos thundering through him. Peace had only seemed to find him when he'd accepted what he wanted, when he allowed himself to acknowledge what was growing in his heart. When he'd stopped fighting himself. As he'd walked onto the Nara lands that afternoon, determined to at least understand where they stood with each other, he'd still been trying to tell himself that he would be okay if Shikamaru turned him away. He wouldn't have been. They'd irrevocably altered the course of things in the forest the other night, long before that really, cascading dominoes that had shaken him out of the slumbering state he'd been in for years. How would he have been able to go back to sleep after finally waking up? 

He'd never allowed himself to entertain even the idea of a relationship before. If he were being honest, he'd never been drawn to anyone enough to really want a thing like that. He'd begun to think the rest of his life may continue in much the same way, seeking occasional physical outlets beyond the walls of Konoha that never sparked more than a passing interest and skipping over problematic entanglements of the heart entirely. His clan would attempt to coerce him into an appropriate arranged marriage eventually, it's own Pandora's Box of complications which he'd been stubbornly refusing to face much to his uncle's mounting chagrin, but he'd never really indulged the idea that he might find companionship on his own. That he might truly desire it. 

That he might fall in love. 

And _gods,_ that's what this was, wasn't it? He turned that tiny word over in his mind, sensed the truth of it as he made his way through the sitting room to gaze out the glass panel doors, shoji screens drawn aside to let the night pour in, the small clearing and the forest beyond silvered by the rising moon, peaceful quiet and ethereal light suspending the hold of reality. Maybe words didn't really matter so much right now. Maybe all that mattered was that he was letting his heart guide him for once and he'd never felt this free. 

Another oil lamp flickered to life at his back, the glow casting enough amber light to warm the room and spill out onto the veranda. He felt hidden away out here in the forest, wrapped up in Shikamaru's secluded little corner of the world, and could almost believe that they'd slipped outside the limits of their waking lives into somewhere _other._ The notion was a heady one, an escapist fantasy tantalising in its sheer impossibility. Though perhaps there wasn't any real harm in indulging such thoughts for a night. Perhaps the weight of their lives could remain outside their door for a little while. 

He turned as Shikamaru drew up by his side, let his gaze linger on that expanse of bare, bronze chest, travel down to where pants slung dangerously low on sensual hips. The temptation was divine, mutual desire held barely restrained between them, arousal warming his blood as Shikamaru raked a knowing gaze over him. Neji swallowed hard, reached out to skate fingertips along the waistband of Shikamaru's pants, dipping inside the edge of the fabric before tugging him forward, Shikamaru following easily. He pressed their mouths together, licked into Shikamaru slowly, drank down his breath and soft sounds, felt his cock begin to stir where it was pressed against Shikamaru's hip. Gods, he was aching, just like that, intoxicated by the depth of his need, a man taking his first deep, sweet sips of water after an eternity wandering the desert. Shikamaru rocked against him, his answering hardness pulling a moan from Neji's lips. 

'Fuck, Neji, this is…I can't think straight. _Gods_ I want more…let me…'

Shikamaru's hands were pulling open his yukata with clumsy fingers as he dropped to his knees, sparing Neji a blisteringly hot look before he reached for his cock, wrapped his fingers around him in a firm grip and leant forward to swallow him down. Neji cried out at the suddenness of it all, the flood of pleasure slamming into him, the urgency in Shikamaru's movements as he took his cock deep into his throat sending waves of heat rippling along his body. Shikamaru was moaning around him, the sensation so incredibly erotic that for a moment he lost his balance, vision hazing as he tilted back to meet the window with his shoulders, Shikamaru's fingers digging into his hip to steady him, body flowing to shift along with him. He pressed his palms against the cool glass and closed his eyes, let himself sink into the feeling of Shikamaru's hot mouth wrapped around him, that clever tongue tracing the underside of his cock, a hand working him steadily, all pressure and suction and wet heat. 

Shikamaru reached out to pull one of Neji's hands from the glass and bury it in his hair before returning to his hip, guiding him, encouraging him to thrust into his mouth, and _kami_ but a man with less control would have lost it at that. He gripped tight at Shikamaru's hair and tugged, pressed fingertips into pressure points at the base of his skull and echoed the rumbling groan he made. 

They found a rhythm together, messy and perfect, Shikamaru driving forward to swallow him down with wild eagerness, Neji gripping him tight, shallow thrusts rocking his cock deeper into his throat. Neji's skin was buzzing, bright-hot electric currents licking over him, singing his skin before passing deep into his muscles, every part of him drawing taut and relaxing in waves. No one had ever worked him like this before, responding to every sound and movement he made as though he were a puzzle to be solved. Shikamaru was paying such close attention even in the ragged state of his own obvious arousal, every change of angle and speed seemingly calculated, that when Neji felt fingers stroking across his perineum just as he craved them there he moaned less with surprise and more with satisfied bliss. Shikamaru was learning his body, and it felt like worship. 

The thought was enough to send him careening towards the edge and he released his tangled hold on Shikamaru's hair to cup his cheek, tried to ease him back, give him warning. Shikamaru hollowed his cheeks and hummed, those fingers pressing back further to sink easily into his still-slicked body and Neji moaned long and loud as he came hard, utterly overwhelmed. That perfect mouth swallowed around him, took everything he gave, pulling back to catch the last drops on bruised lips and Neji couldn't have looked away if he'd tried. 

Shikamaru's hands travelled down to grip Neji's thighs as he sat back on his heels, tongue travelling over his lips and breathing heavily, mouth wet and swollen, watching Neji with a burning gaze. A full-body shiver ran through him at the sight, Shikamaru's powerful body coiled tight, aroused and wanting, waiting. Neji felt high in the afterglow of his own release but the hunger still raged inside him, fuelled by the clear evidence that Shikamaru thoroughly enjoyed what he just did. He sunk down to his knees and leant back against the window, mirroring Shikamaru's pose, thighs spread wide and gaze intent. 

'Touch yourself, Shikamaru. I want to see what giving me pleasure has done to you.'

Shikamaru groaned, the sound deep in his throat, barely dragging past his lips as he opened his pants and drew out his hard, leaking cock, stroking slowly. His eyes hooded but never left Neji's, the tension crackling between them. 

_'Fuck,_ Neji…'

He sounded beautifully wrecked and Neji revelled in the breathy noises he made as he stroked himself, his own body still thrumming with heat. He felt insatiable, longed to drown in Shikamaru's pleasure as much as his own, something he'd never really craved with a lover before, to watch them losing themselves in their desire for him. Sex had always been stolen moments satisfying needs, nothing more than that. But this? This felt entirely different. It was a heady thing, seeing Shikamaru overcome, gaze holding his, hand working his cock, body rolling into his movements. Such intense arousal borne from the act of giving, from making Neji fall, that Shikamaru had been drunk with it before he'd even laid a hand upon himself. Neji let his eyes wander, taking in the display as Shikamaru reached back to brace a hand on his ankle, back arching and hips thrusting upwards, all that hard muscle straining for control, heavy cock passing through his tight grip. He was a vision, debauched and glorious, a god on his knees. Emperors started wars for less. Neji felt his own body responding again, his head spinning as he reached forward to run his hands up Shikamaru's taut thighs. His fingertips skated over the vial of oil in his pocket, need throbbing in his core as he ached to feel Shikamaru deep again, and he grasped the edge of the fabric and tugged. 

'Take these off, let me see all of you.'

Shikamaru groaned and let his eyes drift shut, took a steadying breath as he eased off his pace and let go of his cock, the fight to pull back from the edge obvious. He rose onto his knees to get his pants over his hips and let Neji help him rid himself of the tangle of fabric, the vial of oil making its way out of his pocket and discreetly into Neji's hand in the process. Neji shucked himself free from the sleeves of his yukata and shuffled closer into the space between Shikamaru's knees. Those burning eyes watched him, coffee-dark and flecked with golden fire, bottomless, flickering to Neji's mouth where he ran his tongue over his bottom lip. 

'Keep touching yourself.'

Shikamaru's breath passed his lips in a stutter, eyes closing as he took himself in hand and resumed his firm strokes. His hips canted forward in a sensual roll that grew sharper as his fingers twisted over the head of his cock again and again. Neji was tempted to use his dojutsu, see clearer what he could already sense, watch Shikamaru's chakra flow and respond to his touch. Later, perhaps. 

He uncapped the oil and kept the vial held aside, reached a hand out to hold Shikamaru's hip, thumb rubbing tight circles there. He leant in to capture Shikamaru's mouth in a slow kiss, moaning at the taste of himself still heavy on his tongue, and shifted his hand from his hip down to tangle their fingers around Shikamaru's cock in a steadying motion. Shikamaru hummed, whispered Neji's name against his mouth, startled a little as Neji poured the rest of the oil over his cock. 

'Have me again, Shikamaru.'

Shikamaru's eyes flew open at his words, bright and focused, moaning as Neji swiped his fingers through the trickling oil and reached between his legs to spread slick over his entrance, slipping inside himself long enough to work the stretch that remained from earlier. Shikamaru crashed their mouths together as he removed his hand, the kiss devouring, and Neji could feel the shivers passing through him as Shikamaru grabbed at his hips and pulled him up to straddle his lap. 

_'Gods,_ Neji, you're gonna kill me.'

Neji dropped kisses against Shikamaru's jaw, bit lightly as he raised himself up on his knees. 

'Hmmm…what a way to go, though.'

Shikamaru groaned, the edge of it gilt with amusement as he reached between them, Neji stilling him as fingers pressed against his rim, redirecting Shikamaru's hand to his cock. 

'Just you.'

Shikamaru's breath caught, shuddering an almost-silent curse into Neji's shoulder as he grasped himself. Another moment spent taking air into his lungs and he was lining up with Neji's body, guiding him to sink down. 

'Slow, Neji, _slow,_ or this is gonna be over very soon.'

Neji brushed his lips over Shikamaru's temple and wrapped his arms around his shoulders, held him close as he eased his way into his lap. There were fireworks going off under his skin, sparking bright and spreading heat into every corner of his being. He could feel his chakra swirling in his core, the ever-present ebb and flow of energy simmering with power, a deep reserve of strength offering itself up to him. Neji breathed, drew air in a steadying wave as he coaxed chakra along his tenketsu, the sensation lighting up his nerve endings as a tide of pure energy surged under his skin, his body humming with pleasure and a sweet-hot pain that swirled and doubled back in on itself until everything was _blazing,_ starfire and chakra burn and four little letters of one little word squeezing _tight_ at the muscle in his chest.

He let his bodyweight settle heavy, pressing Shikamaru deep inside him, intense, _intense_ and _exactly_ where he wanted him. He'd never imagined being had like this could feel so necessary, that he'd long for it, that it might feel as though something were being given to him, not taken. Their night in the forest had stirred something in him, experiencing Shikamaru falling apart in his arms like that, wanting it so badly, trusting Neji to take care of him. And now he'd tasted it himself and he _understood,_ understood what it could _be,_ prayers pressed deep, an offering made of flesh and breath, given and received and returned in equal measure, and he gave himself over to the need for it without reservation. _Have me, have all of me._

Shikamaru was breathing hard against his neck, hands clutching, flexing where they held his hips. He dug fingers into Shikamaru's hair, pulled his head back, licked the shell of his ear, teeth catching at his earring, the shiver he got in response all the encouragement he needed to do it again, warming the cool metal. He squeezed around Shikamaru's cock, pulling a rough sound from his throat, echoed it with his own shaky breath.

'You feel _so good._ I've never…'

He raised himself up, sunk down to meet Shikamaru's thrust, both of them gasping at the hot friction. 

'...I've never let anyone have me like this…'

Shikamaru's breath caught and he stilled a little, steadied Neji's movements and caught his gaze. 

_'Neji…'_

Awe and a hint of concern swam in those warm eyes, and Neji cupped his jaw, thumbs tracing his cheekbones in an attempt to soothe the unnecessary worry. He _wanted_ this. There were no nerves, no sacrifice. His choice to make and his alone, and he'd _made_ it. He rolled his hips again, felt Shikamaru shiver in response. 

'Mmm…this is all I could think about for _days._ I've never wanted anyone this close. Troublesome Nara.'

Shikamaru's mouth curved at the familiar tease, smile soft, _trusting,_ and Neji leant in to run his tongue over his lip, kissing him thoroughly as he picked up the pace of his movements. He sensed fire in Shikamaru's veins, wanted to taste it, wanted it unleashed. 

'Neji, _slow…'_

The tone of his voice was so desperate, control fraying, and Neji longed to have him give in, lose himself in this, take what he needed and in doing that give Neji everything he craved. He pulled almost all the way off Shikamaru's cock before sinking back down, plunging him deep, curled in to press his moan against Shikamaru's throat. 

'We have all the time we want for slow…later…'

Another powerful roll of his hips. 

'...for now…'

He pressed his teeth into the tender skin at Shikamaru's pulse point, felt the way he was fighting the urge to let go, muscles bunching tight in his thighs and shoulders, working at restraint. 

'...stop holding back, take me hard…fast…'

His breath stumbled, shredding itself over the irrepressible need singing in his blood. He _wanted,_ gods he _wanted_ so _badly._

'...let me _feel_ you...'

The growl that tore from Shikamaru's throat sent Neji's heartbeat skittering, some primal instinct to flee from a predator spiking through his nervous system, the thrill of it making his cock ache and his blood sing. Shikamaru grasped at him, fingers digging in to anchor tight at his hip and base of his spine, tilting him as he lifted his thighs and thrust hard and rough. Neji gripped his shoulders and leant back, arching, the angle of Shikamaru's hips striking his cock intensely deep with every powerful movement. 

A wave of the same fierce hunger he'd felt that first night between them crashed over him, a wildness in his veins urging him on, the ache to claim and be claimed engulfing him. He _wanted_ Shikamaru, wanted his body deep and close, his heart open, his defences down. Wanted his vulnerability, his trust, his passion.

He drew back up to seat himself heavier in Shikamaru's lap, shifted to get better leverage and worked his body to sync their rhythm, siphoning off some of the chaos but none of the intensity. Shikamaru's hands stroked his back, firm open-palmed caresses of heated skin a soothing contrast to the way those powerful thighs drove his cock to the hilt over and over. Neji tucked his cheek against Shikamaru's hair and let his eyes close, breathed him in, old growth forests and lush sun-warmed grass, the crushed-velvet of deep shadows and crisp autumn air and a hint of smoke, the heady musk of sex thick around them. He wanted to press the scent into his skin, keep it there. 

Shikamaru was shaking under him, panting hard with every breath, chasing his orgasm and keeping Neji close, the muscled planes of their stomachs giving sweet friction to his trapped cock. Neji felt every muscle in his body ripple with growing tension, thrumming with it as another release of his own built, their bodies rolling together, grinding hard. He pressed his hand to the curve of Shikamaru's spine to anchor him tight as he ground against his stomach, his aching cock like stone, leaking heavily as his body began to lock up, ruined noises pouring shamelessly from his lips. 

Shikamaru's arms wrapped around him and held him as he spilled hot between their bodies, moaning loud through his orgasm, Shikamaru's name punctuating broken breaths. Barely a rapid heartbeat passed before Shikamaru was driving deep into him and crying out, his body bowing backwards as he came and Neji clenched down, groaning as Shikamaru's cock pulsed inside him. 

Neji watched as Shikamaru gradually came back to himself, breath slowing, body stilling under him, swaying in to rest his brow on Neji's shoulder. He hummed low and gentle as he dropped a kiss to the curve of Neji's neck before gripping him tightly and shifting them clear of the windows. He tipped Neji back and braced a hand behind him as he eased him down to lay on the cool timber floor, following him over, their bodies still pressed close. 

Shikamaru gradually eased his cock free as he rose to his knees, both of them groaning quietly at the overstimulation. Neji shivered a little as Shikamaru's lingering gaze passed over him, his hands stroking up Neji's thighs, expression turning serious, heavy. He met Neji's questioning look for a moment before he released a held breath, a smile and slight shake of his head seeming to scatter the weight of his thoughts.

'Just feeling kinda possessive. It's a new urge for me.'

He moved up to sprawl out by Neji's side, laid a hand over his chest, and Neji entwined their fingers as he cocked an eyebrow. 

'Possessive, hmn?' 

And gods but he liked that, his heart giving a strange squeeze at the thought of Shikamaru being territorial. A new urge, indeed. He rolled to his side to bring them face to face, let a smirk curve his lips. 

'So, you like that no one else has fucked me? That I haven't wanted anyone like that until you?'

The coarse words tasted sharp on his tongue, a tease of sweetness following them as Shikamaru breathed out a shaky hum of agreement. 

'And you like it when I talk to you like this. Quite a lot, from what I've gathered.'

Not a question this time but Shikamaru was humming again anyway, an amused _yeah, definitely_ slipping free on a breath as he passed his lip between his teeth, eyes still dark with arousal and watching him closely. Neji leant forward, forcing Shikamaru to lay back on the floor, followed him, kept them close. Shikamaru's responsiveness was all the encouragement he needed to give voice to his thoughts rather than hold them back, it wouldn't be a difficult habit to cultivate in their bed at all. His lips brushed Shikamaru's mouth in an almost-kiss, the smirk lingering. 

'A good thing you make me feel so conversational then, I suppose.'

He bit down on the swell of Shikamaru's bottom lip, soothed the sting with his tongue as he reached to trail fingers through strands of hair that had worked their way free from Shikamaru's tie. He'd never seen his hair down. _Gods,_ he wanted that. Wanted to get them into Shikamaru's bed, spread him out there and learn every unexplored inch of his body, map every dip and curve of him with greedy fingers and lips. 

'I'm not sure what to do with this hunger, Shikamaru. The way I want you, it feels…overwhelming.'

He traced his fingertips over Shikamaru's jaw, down, thumb drawing a line from his chin to the dip of his throat. 

'I'm burning with it.' 

Lower. Sternum and ribs and core, coming to rest spread wide just below his navel. Sacral chakra. Neji felt it thrumming there, primal life force threaded with sexual energy, swirling deep and hot under golden skin and quivering muscle. Neji's awareness of his own chakra was finely honed, a lifetime spent focusing and training with it had resulted in it feeling like another limb, the connection between his spiritual and physical selves now coming as naturally as the air moving in and out of his lungs. He felt its flow always, the way it coursed through his tenketsu network and out into the world around him, a dance of energy and intent. Dipping into its potential was exhilarating on the battlefield. And in the bedroom. Neji wondered if Shikamaru had ever experimented with all of that buried power, if he'd ever learnt to wield his chakra for more erotic purposes. If he'd like to. His attention flickered to the sighing breath passing Shikamaru's lips, warm against his own. 

'I know, I feel it too. Maybe we just let it have us. Burn together.' 

Neji pressed their mouths together in response, the kiss slow, let Shikamaru feel all the need still simmering just behind his self-control. He felt raw, desire pounding heavy behind his ribs and deep in his gut, mind spinning, body aching blissfully. Shikamaru ran a hand in long strokes down his side, over the jut of his hip, the curve of his ass, massaged into the muscles of his thigh. 

'Should we try and make it more than ten feet into the house? Like maybe all the way to the shower? It's big enough for two, if you want.'

Neji suddenly felt very aware of every sticky stretch of skin, the chill of night seeping into his body from the timber, and hummed as he eased back to let Shikamaru move out from the fortress of his arms. 

'Lead the way.'

They helped each other to their feet, Shikamaru putting on a particularly lovely display as he stretched his arms over his head to work loose his back, muscular body shifting in tempting ripples in the golden lamplight as he made his way across the room and down the hall to the bathroom on the other side of the tsuboniwa. Neji swept his hair over his shoulder and ran his fingers through fine tangles as he followed, a shiver passing along his shoulders as a trickle of Shikamaru's release dripped from his body and trailed a slick path down his inner thigh, filthy, erotic, _gods_ he wanted more of it and _that_ was certainly something to learn about himself. He must have made a sound to draw Shikamaru's attention because he was turning on him with bright eyes, dragging him across the bathroom and into the shower, pressing him against the cold tile to kiss him. 

Shikamaru fumbled with the tap, both of them too distracted to think straight, and as the freezing spray hit them Shikamaru pushed him aside, taking the brunt of the icy water with a startled yelp. Neji laughed as he stepped back and pulled Shikamaru with him. 

'Very heroic.'

Shikamaru shook water from his body and grimaced, scowling at the shower as he adjusted the taps. 

'Hn, well, that could have been smoother.'

He flashed Neji a lopsided smile and the moment softened into something quieter. Neji ran his fingers back through his hair, slowing when they caught on the ties of his headband. A sense of calm eased under his skin at the thought of baring this final piece of himself, of inviting Shikamaru closer than he'd allowed anyone else to be, and as he waited for the fear he expected to feel at the thought he almost trembled with the realisation that serenity was settling instead.

He paused a moment longer before reaching under the fall of his hair, loosening the knot of his hitai-ate and the strip of cloth he wore beneath it, letting go of the last of his defences with one simple gesture. His fingers shook with the weight of significance, all of him exposed now, right down to his most fragile depths. Shikamaru's gaze tracked his movements as Neji carefully grasped the headbands and placed them on the sink, held out a spare tie to him as he slowly wound his long hair up into a knot. Warm eyes stayed locked on him, flickered from his hands to his mouth to his brow, Shikamaru moving in as he finished securing his hair to drop a kiss to his curse mark. Neji's breath caught in his lungs, a sense of safety winding around him as Shikamaru's arms reeled him in, as though the armor he'd discarded to let Shikamaru close was now shielding them both. Shikamaru cinched their brows, a hand resting heavy on the nape of his neck. 

'I want to protect you. Want to promise you things I can't promise. I wish I could change this for you.' 

His lips brushed back over the curse mark and Neji let his eyes drift shut for a long moment before he met Shikamaru's gaze, his voice escaping on a whisper as he stroked fingertips down Shikamaru's temple. 

'I wish for a great many things…'

The notion of Shikamaru rescuing him from the cage of his life made his heart ache, that old spark of hope for a better future flaring in his chest. Of course there was potential for his clan to adapt, to find a new path in a modern world unencumbered by the rituals of dead generations, but potential was meaningless without action. The desire for transformation lingered in the shadows of the younger ones, an unspoken longing for change, but it would likely remain in the dark until their elders were in the ground, the obstacles instilling enough fear to stay the hand of revolution. He would be a much older man before he might feel such freedom touch his life, and that was a reality he had still not come to peaceful terms with. Knowing that Shikamaru understood all of this but was here with him anyway, that he wanted to seek a way through it all, that he had hope, it stirred something deep in Neji's bones. Some battlecry to a fight he had almost given up on. 

'...perhaps one day there will be a way.'

He kissed Shikamaru deeply as he walked them back under the now-steaming spray, the warm water cascading over Shikamaru's shoulders to pour down Neji's chest. They held each other there, hands slowly travelling over one another as the kiss grew hot. Shikamaru pressed Neji's shoulders to the wall and reached to lather his hands with soap, running them over him, touch soothing and generous as he washed dried sweat and sticky seed from his skin. His heartbeat stuttered, lungs clutching tight around heavy breath as Shikamaru took care of him. Incredible, that a tender thing like this could feel so startlingly intimate after everything they'd already done together. That this would set his stomach into freefall, tipping him over an unexpected precipice. His unsteady heart thundered as he tried to grapple with the concept of being treated with such reverence. 

He let his head roll back against the tile, a barely-voiced moan passing his lips as Shikamaru's hands worked down to his cock, down lower to press between his legs, fingers massaging gently at his entrance as Neji opened his thighs to give him more room. His touch lingered, and Neji ached. 

'I still feel you there, slick inside me, the stretch.'

Shikamaru groaned and dropped a kiss against his throat, teeth dragging over the bruise he kept forgetting marked him there. The banked fire in his veins sparked, threatened to roar to life again as Shikamaru gradually went to his knees, a sight that he imagined would never stop robbing him of breath, sucking a trail of marks into his chest and stomach as his hands continued washing Neji's body. Fingers kneaded into the globes of his ass, the thick muscle of his thighs, skated over the sensitive skin behind his knees. Every part of him felt as though it were being tuned like an instrument, Shikamaru's touch plucking at strings deep inside him. Neji let his eyes drift shut as those hands encircled a calf, an ankle, fingertips pressing into the arch of his foot. A groan passed his lips as the pressure hit a tight spot, releasing tension he didn't realise he'd been holding there, and Neji's mind whispered of _worship_ again. He opened his eyes as Shikamaru's hands slowly trailed off his body, watched as Shikamaru rested there, gazing up at Neji intently as he washed his own skin, a soapy hand hesitating on his cock as the other disappeared between his legs, breath falling faster as his thighs spread a little wider. 

Neji's heart kicked up into a drumming beat in his chest as he watched Shikamaru's eyes shutter. The moment stretched and he reached for him, tugging Shikamaru to his feet and reversing their positions in a burst of speed, taking Shikamaru by surprise as he shoved him against the wall and kissed him, drinking down the gasp that parted his lips. He pressed in close between Shikamaru's thighs, lined up their bodies chest to hip and reached for Shikamaru's leg, encouraged him to hook it up over his own, dug fingers into the heavy, corded muscle of his thigh and held him there under the fall of the water. 

'I wonder, after our mission, did you feel the ghost of me like that too? Lingering deep inside you, an echo of our pleasure?'

Neji rolled his hips forward, felt Shikamaru's cock stirring between them, his own length taking interest again too. Shikamaru's breath was laboured, his lips dragging over Neji's cheek. 

'Fuck, yeah, and it drove me crazy. All I could think about for days, having you like that again. How it might be if we could take our time. If you might want to feel me deeper too, might let me have you. And _gods,_ now I just want everything, my brain can't settle anywhere, it's all too much. Want to be back inside you, buried tight, making you moan for me. Want you to take me, fill me, break me into a thousand pieces.'

Neji hummed low and thick at the flood of words, the frantic edge to Shikamaru's tone, every trip in his breath licking fire up Neji's spine. He marvelled at the way their bodies responded to one another as he held them close, the swift way they were recovering, chasing more, the need burning so bright that it seemed to have taken over their senses. He could lose himself to this for days, and the look Shikamaru levelled him with suggested he was thinking much the same thing. 

'Bed, Neji. Take me to bed.'

He sought Shikamaru's lips again, tasted the desperation in his words as he kissed him long and needy, the press of lips and tongues urgent and tender by turns as water cascaded over them. Neji slowly lowered his leg but hesitated to break the kiss, wrapping his arms low around Shikamaru's waist, holding him close as Shikamaru massaged at the base of his skull, down his neck, over his shoulders. They shifted apart and pulled each other close again again again, reluctant to let go, hands grazing one another as Shikamaru shut off the shower and retrieved towels, drying themselves with distracted focus. Shikamaru dropped his towel to the floor as he leant close to whisper in Neji's ear before sauntering away. 

'Come on Hyūga, don't make me beg.'

Neji's lip tugged up at the corner as he untied his hair and shook it loose, and he stalked Shikamaru down the hallway. 

'Mmm…you may come to regret your choice of words, Nara.'

Shikamaru's bedroom was all the same dark timber and glass panel doors as the rest of the house, the forest almost as present inside as it was out, the half-made futon bed dressed in midnight-green linen and bathed in just enough moonlight to forego the need for a lamp. The whole cabin was perfectly Shikamaru, but this room felt somehow warmer, messier, well-worn and cosy. Shikamaru watched as Neji glanced around the room, the mood between them shifting back into something softer without losing any of its heat. 

Neji closed the distance between them, drew up close and ran fingertips down Shikamaru's arm, lingering to circle his thumb over the inside of his wrist, catching on the leather band he wore there like a talisman, let his gaze stroke heavy across him. Shikamaru's breath shivered out, and for the first time that night he looked a little hesitant. Neji tilted his head as he studied him, reached up to comb a loose curl of hair back behind his ear. 

'Shikamaru…'

Neji was quieted by a slight shake of Shikamaru's head, withdrawing his hand. 

'You're in my home. About to share my bed. No one has ever…no one has ever been like this. Here. With me. I guess it all just kinda feels like a dream, but incredibly real at the same time, somehow. My head keeps trying to make sense of it, trying to work out what we're gonna do tomorrow when the reality of our lives crashes back in. I'm trying to ignore it, but the thoughts keep sneaking up on me. I don't know what comes next, I have no point of reference for any of this, and I want it so bad but it's terrifying me too.' 

These moments had been taking Neji equally off guard, this sense that they'd found something that was about to turn their entire world upside down, breathtaking and beautiful and yes, _utterly_ _terrifying._ He ran his hand down Shikamaru's chest, offered up a tentative smile, a lifeline, if not to solid ground then at least to himself. They could be adrift together.

'I'm as out of my depth as you are, Shikamaru. Land slipped out of sight days ago…'

He trailed his fingers back up to the dip of Shikamaru's throat, out along his collarbone. 

'...I feel like I'm changing course without a map.'

His eyes followed the path of his fingers, stilling at Shikamaru's shoulder. What a glorious thing, to be able to touch this man so freely, for it to be so welcome. Wanted. He'd fight to keep this, felt it in his very core. The thought pulled another smile to his lips, coloured it with determination, and his gaze lifted to meet dark eyes. 

'I don't know how to navigate this, what we do about my clan, about so many things. I'm overwhelmed too, by all of this, by how unfamiliar it all is. But I want you, Shikamaru. I want _us._ That much is startlingly clear to me.'

He slipped a hand around to grasp Shikamaru's nape, fingers pressing into the notches of his spine. 

'We'll figure it out.'

Shikamaru's expression smoothed, the furrow in his brow melting away, traded in for a quiet smile as Neji massaged at his neck. 

'Hmn, yeah.' 

Shikamaru reached for Neji's shoulders, touch still confident, sure in a way that didn't quite reach his voice, and Neji moved in to brush their lips. Shikamaru's mind never stopped spinning, it was a complex part of him that had Neji captivated, that need for answers to questions most people wouldn't ever think to ask, the ability to develop contingencies before problems even crested the horizon. Something people regularly took advantage of without considering the burden it could be. It was also one of the first things Neji had come to understand about him, to respect, and he imagined all of this was sending him into overdrive. 

'There are going to be difficulties here, but they aren't something for you to shoulder alone, Shikamaru. I won't ever expect that of you. If we do this, we do it together. Every part of it.'

He cinched their brows and wished he had some real answers to give him. Neji felt like he was running on pure instinct, like he had been for days, something in his gut telling him this would be worth the considerable trouble they were about to risk. They'd work it out. Together. He ran his fingers back through those loose strands of Shikamaru's hair and gave in to the kiss that still held suspended between them. Shikamaru sighed against his mouth, lips catching. 

'Yeah. Yeah, I know. Wouldn't be here if I didn't. The panic keeps tapping me on the shoulder though, you know? And I just wish there was a way to keep all that outside our door a little longer. Stay wrapped up in this.'

Neji nodded and forced his shoulders to relax where he'd unconsciously begun to hold them tense, felt Shikamaru mirror him, decisive. He stroked Shikamaru's cheek, cupped his jaw, leant in for another kiss only to have Shikamaru draw away with a teasing quirk of an eyebrow. The mercurial shift would have been startling if Neji hadn't learnt to recognise what Shikamaru looked like when he was changing gears, compartmentalizing his thoughts to stay present in the moment, to _return._ He went easily as Shikamaru moved backwards, tugging Neji down with him to kneel on the bed, shifting them until Neji was leaning back into the pillows with Shikamaru draped over him, their legs tangled. 

Neji pulled him into a messy kiss, felt the play of a smile on Shikamaru's lips as he sunk his fingers back into his hair. Neji gasped as Shikamaru nipped at his bottom lip, moaning softly when that wicked mouth worked its way down to suck gently at the bruise on his throat, the brand growing hot again under the renewed attention. Shikamaru drew back to pillow his arms across Neji's chest, tilting his head to press firmly into Neji's hands, eyes drifting to half-mast. 

'My hair. Take it down.'

Neji watched him closely, flexed his fingers and tracked the fluttering of eyelashes as he tugged gently. Shikamaru hummed low in his throat. 

'Go on. You keep playing with it…I want you to...'

He tugged again, and Shikamaru's tongue darted out to swipe over his lip, voice breaking whisper-quiet over a sigh.

'...go on.'

Neji traced his thumb over the edge of Shikamaru's hairline, slowly down his temple. Felt the moment Shikamaru's breath caught in his lungs as Neji reached for his tie and gently began to unravel the wild loops of his hair. He took his time, let the moment drag out, felt it affecting Shikamaru in a way Neji suspected meant there was something significant hidden here, offered up to Neji in a show of trust that made his heart beat harder in his veins. Shikamaru's breath shivered from his lips as his hair fell loose, cocoa-black strands slipping through Neji's fingers, before a furrow pinched his brow only to vanish as fast as it had appeared. 

'Shikamaru…?'

Dark eyes opened to meet his gaze, a flicker of vulnerability there, and Neji stilled his hands. Shikamaru pressed back against his fingers. 

'Keep going. Please.'

He hesitated a moment longer before continuing to stroke through Shikamaru's hair, pulling gently when his fingers snagged. 

'Are you sure?' 

For a moment he thought all the answer he'd get was the hum in Shikamaru's chest, until he felt him take a deep breath and relax his body as he exhaled. 

_'Gods,_ I'm so sure. It feels good. Better than. Trust me here, Neji.'

A sliver of ice threatened to settle in his gut as he contemplated the vast possibilities of what could be tucked away in Shikamaru's memories, a conversation for another time perhaps. If what Shikamaru needed right now was Neji's trust that he knew his own limits then that's what he'd give him, no question. They both had their share of ghosts after all.

Neji had caught glimpses of Shikamaru's raw edges in the past months, rough places that he felt a longing to soothe. There was an incredible fire buried there too, a wild passion at odds with the lackadaisical attitude he projected. It had surprised Neji at first, forced him to reevaluate many things he'd assumed about Shikamaru, to acknowledge how wrong he'd been. Coaxing free those little moments had quickly become something of a habit whenever they spent time together, and he'd become fascinated by the depths he continued to uncover. Shikamaru kept so much of himself private, guarded himself against the invasion that letting people close could be and yet gradually he'd let Neji in, had trusted him to see behind his mask and be gentle with what he found there. In lonelier midnight hours he'd wondered what kind of lover Shikamaru might be, and to be holding him here in his arms now, all warm skin and sweet sounds and possessive affection, Neji felt overcome with gratitude at being gifted with so much. 

His whole life he'd kept people at arms length, and it could easily have been like that with Shikamaru too. He could have missed this. And now all he wanted to do was stay right here and offer himself up, give Shikamaru everything he held deep and precious. Hold his trust and give it utterly in return. 

He dragged his fingers across Shikamaru's scalp and carded them through his hair, their bodies shifting together in a gentle grind as the last tendrils of hesitation melted away entirely. Shikamaru hitched a leg over his thigh and surged forward to kiss him, licking into Neji's mouth and moaning. Their hands wandered, drawing heat up in slow, simmering waves, hips rocking together in a language that was fast becoming their own.

Neji clutched at Shikamaru's thigh, tugged it a little higher onto his hip and rolled their bodies, reversing their positions to pin Shikamaru to the bed in one fluid motion. Those strong legs wrapped tight around him, anchoring their hips together as he claimed Shikamaru's mouth again, the kiss growing fevered as their bodies ground against one another for long, blissful minutes.

He stroked a hand slowly down Shikamaru's chest, thumb catching a hard nipple before grazing over ribs and muscled stomach. Neji let his focus wander to the spiralling energy he felt there, the ache to experience Shikamaru on a deeper level building under his skin. He coaxed their kiss gently back into harsh breath and the brush of lips, eased the movements of their hips into something softer. Returning his hand to Shikamaru's collarbone he gathered a little chakra to his fingertips, trailing them in feather-light patterns back down to his navel, felt the answering pulse of energy buried deep. Shikamaru groaned under the attention and Neji brushed his lips over the corner of his mouth. 

'I'd like to try something. How would you feel about me using the Byakugan?' 

Shikamaru hummed, the sound dragging up from deep in his chest. 

'I would feel very, _very_ good about it, honestly.'

The arousal in his voice had not been what Neji was expecting. People usually found his dojutsu eerie, the heavy clouding of his eyes and pronounced veins along his temples alien enough to unsettle even those who seemed to find it fascinating. But Shikamaru's breath was falling heavier, his hands flexing against Neji's shoulders, and it sent a rush of heat down his spine. 

He took a deep breath and focused himself, silently activating his dojutsu and dropping a kiss to Shikamaru's throat. Shifting his weight further back onto his knees he rose up to run both hands down the length of Shikamaru's body. The sight of him spread out and wanton, body thrumming with energy, was so deeply erotic Neji had to take a moment to breathe and resist the temptation to just sink back down and take him. Shikamaru ran his hands over Neji's forearms, thumbs rubbing little circles into the sensitive skin at his wrists. 

'My chakra reserves aren't like yours…'

There was a hint of self-consciousness there, and Neji wanted it gone. Shikamaru's chakra flowed through him in potent currents, magnificent in all its raw potential, and Neji was held enthralled. How Shikamaru could think he was anything less than breathtaking was utterly beyond him. 

'Gods, Shikamaru, if you could see what I see. Your power is yours, perfectly yours, exactly what it needs to be…'

Shikamaru watched him closely, expression relaxing as Neji spoke, fingers releasing his wrist with a gentle squeeze. Neji let his hands resume their wandering, a slow play of fingertips spiralling around Shikamaru's navel, up, up, drawing figure eights over his chest and back down again, following the flow of energy within him. 

'...you burn so bright with it. Your whole chakra network feeding energy into your core, pooling in your sacral centre where it's growing hot and thick…'

He let a little of his own chakra spill from his fingertips again as he stroked low beneath Shikamaru's navel, grazing through the dusky hair at the base of his cock. 

'...do you feel it there? The way it's concentrating in harmony with your physical body? Every ache echoing into your spiritual self, your chakra responding to your arousal…' 

Shikamaru was arching into his touch, moaning as Neji continued his light caress. 

'Sexual chakra is so powerful. Pure creation energy. It gathers here, and what you do with it is entirely up to you…'

He leant forward to brace a hand by Shikamaru's shoulder, bringing them closer together, one hand keeping the rhythm on Shikamaru's skin. His voice sounded unfamiliar to his own ears, heavy and dark with need. 

'...if the moment were inopportune you could siphon it off, redirect it into other centers along your chakra network and channel it into another purpose, let the heat dissipate as necessary…' 

He licked over the pulse hammering in Shikamaru's throat. 

'...you could let it build there, undirected, kindling to the burn of your orgasm when it comes…'

A press of teeth, drawing a sharp moan from Shikamaru's lips and a bright flare of energy in the tenketsu point under his lips. 

'...or you could breathe with me, Shikamaru. Take the breath I give you and feed it back to me...feel our rhythm…'

A full-body shiver passed through Shikamaru as Neji brushed their lips, licked a soft ghost of breath into his mouth between kisses. 

'...the way your body is tuning into mine, the weight of me over you, the slow drag of warm skin, the echo of my own power feeding off yours, feeding into yours. Feel the way we move together…' 

Neji pressed his lips back against Shikamaru's throat, concentrated on the way their bodies were synchronising, the flow of air and energy. He watched the swirling chakra inside them both, the way his own left trails of light over Shikamaru's skin, fading like the tails of comets bleeding out into the night sky. He dropped his mouth to Shikamaru's chest, tongue tracing the path left by his fingertips and swore he tasted starlight. 

'...feel your chakra, the heavy current of it deep inside you, focus on it like you would on the battlefield…'

He channelled more of his own chakra into his tenketsu and drew it to the surface, let it pass over his body in waves, felt it lap against Shikamaru everywhere their bodies were anchored together, dipping under his skin and spinning into the tide of his energy. Neji watched the dance, the flow, wisps of his chakra melding with Shikamaru's, delicate and powerful. The moan it pulled from his lips was echoed by Shikamaru, deep and agonisingly good. 

_'Neji, fuck.'_

Shikamaru's chakra was a siren song, beckoning him closer, inviting him to see how far they could fall into one another. 

'Call your chakra through your tenketsu network, draw from here…'

He stroked over Shikamaru's sacral centre again, lingered there, watched as the bright glow of energy slowly spread out to suffuse his meridians. 

'...let it flow through you like breath…'

Neji was aching, his control focused so steady and his body burning, every part of him tuned in to the press of flesh and energy, his dojutsu reading minute changes in chakra and turning everything into an incredibly heady feedback loop. He trailed his hand down to Shikamaru's thigh, pressed it wide and stroked over his soft skin, grazing inward to brush his thumb over his perineum, over his entrance. 

'Would you like more?' 

Shikamaru moaned and rocked down against his hand and Neji let the tip of his thumb sink into him, a shallow tease of friction. 

_'Gods, yes,_ Neji, I need you. Bedside table. Oil. _Now.'_

He sounded entirely wrecked and Neji had to focus back on his breathing for a moment, leaning in to kiss him before shifting to retrieve the bottle of oil. He slicked his fingers and settled himself between Shikamaru's thighs, concentrated his chakra back down into the ebb and flow of his core, let just the faintest tease of it linger in his oiled fingertips as he trailed them down the length of Shikamaru's cock. Shikamaru writhed under him, glorious, a stutter in his chakra and an affirmation on his lips as Neji sunk two fingers into him. 

'Keep breathing, Shikamaru, feel how deep your power flows. Feel how hot it is with arousal, molten in your core.'

Shikamaru bit off a curse, his tongue flicking out to wet his lip as Neji worked him open. Neji watched as a wet pearl beaded at the tip of Shikamaru's cock, desperate suddenly to taste him, to know the feel of him on his tongue. He leant forward to lick at the droplet, taking the head between his lips and humming before swallowing around him, pressing a third finger into his body as he did so. Shikamaru's hands flew to his head, burying in his hair as he sobbed and arched against him, wordless noises spilling from his lips as he fought not to lose focus of his chakra. Neji sunk down the length of his cock, breathed in the scent of him, heady musk on the back of his tongue and sweet aching stretch in his jaw. He let his eyes flicker closed as sensation enveloped him, Shikamaru _everywhere,_ mouth full and fingers working deep, a powerful thigh draped over his arm, energy pulsing. The hands in hair grasped and pulled, shifted, straining voice calling him from his reverie. 

'Neji, _Neji, now,_ please.'

Shikamaru gripped his shoulders and tugged, and Neji released his cock and slipped his fingers free, slowing his journey up Shikamaru's body to mouth bruises into his ribs, his chest, saw fireworks blossom beneath them in his tenketsu. He let himself be pulled into a hungry kiss, watched as Shikamaru's chakra blazed under his skin, felt his dojutsu start to waiver. He just wanted a few minutes longer. 

He rocked back on his knees and retrieved the oil, pouring a little too much into his hand in his haste, felt it drip down between his knuckles and over his wrist. His body was electric, wildly sensitive to even the trickle of liquid over his skin, the feel of it enough to send a tremor surging through him. He focused on calming his thundering heart as he slowly slicked his cock, watched Shikamaru's hands fisting in the bedsheets, knuckles turning white as he fought for his own control. He placed a hand over Shikamaru's navel as he lined himself up, rubbing slow circles as he began to press forward, calling on every ounce of concentration he possessed. 

'Your chakra is burning here, Shikamaru, raw and bright like the sun. Keep drawing from it as I fill you, let it charge every part of you, let it stroke pleasure through your veins...'

His voice was splintering apart as he bottomed out, the tight heat of Shikamaru's body engulfing him, the flood of chakra through his own core being echoed in the man stretched out beneath him.

'...let me watch.'

He'd never witnessed anything like it, the way their spiritual energies answered one another, cascading through their own bodies to mingle together and amplify every little touch. He felt as though he might drown under waves of stimulation, and _gods,_ but it was _incredible._ He pulled back and reached to clutch at Shikamaru's calf, hitched his knee over his shoulder and thrust back into him, sinking forward to capture his mouth, kissing him as they moaned together. 

He rocked them close, slow, reluctantly deactivating the Byakugan with a gasp, colour saturating his vision as he lost sight of deeper places. He let Shikamaru's knee slip into the crook of his arm and held on to him, pressed his brow against his cheek and closed his eyes for a long moment. He lost himself to the sway of their bodies, the awareness he still held of energy flowing through them both. He'd been longing to feel Shikamaru like this for days, the hold of him, their bodies aching and burning up together, drawing shattered sounds from Shikamaru with every heavy roll of his hips. He felt at once satisfied and entirely insatiable, and knew with certainty that he'd never get enough of this, would crave it the rest of his days. 

Shikamaru clung to him, body strung tight, broken moans escaping his lips and Neji tasted salt as he pressed a kiss to his temple. He glanced at him, slowed his rhythm a little as he waited for Shikamaru's flickering gaze to meet his, voice strained and whisper-quiet. 

_'Don't you dare stop.'_

Neji's lip twitched towards a smile as he captured Shikamaru's mouth again, kissed him messy, breathed with him, kept moving. 

'I won't. You can let go Shikamaru, I have you.'

There was weight behind his words, a promise there that went beyond the way he held Shikamaru in his arms now. Shikamaru looked lost for a moment, overwhelmed, a heaviness passing over him that seemed to leave soft understanding in its wake. 

'I know. Gods, Neji, I know you do. _I can feel it.'_

Neji watched as Shikamaru's eyes swam, kissed the corners of them where silent tears spilled over. He let Shikamaru's leg relax down over his thigh and tucked his cheek into his neck, kept them anchored tight, hips rolling together in a slow undulation, the crash and retreat of their own ecstatic tide. 

Shikamaru wrapped his other thigh over Neji's, changing the angle of Neji's movements enough to meet buried nerves, digging fingers hard into Neji's arms as he cried out again and again and again. Shikamaru's body held him in a vice-grip, almost stilling him entirely, and Neji watched enthralled as Shikamaru repeated his name like a mantra and came, untouched, visible chakra licking over his fingers as his cock pulsed between their bodies. Neji rocked them gently until Shikamaru took a shaky breath and relaxed just enough to let him move, almost felt more than heard words pressed against his neck as hands tangled in his hair. 

'Keep going, I need to feel you come for me…' 

Teeth scraped over his pulse point, lips brushing beneath his ear.

'...need to feel you fall.'

Neji's breath turned ragged as he drove forward, a hard, steady rhythm that shook the air from his lungs. Shikamaru's body was trembling in his arms, hot noises still tripping from his lips, intoxicated begging that sent sparks crackling under Neji's skin. He felt the rush rising up his spine, chakra mingling with his thundering pulse, body drawing taut, and as Shikamaru clenched around him he let himself crash over that edge, heard Shikamaru moaning along with him as he came, felt those strong arms wrap around him as the rest of the world slipped out of focus. 

He resurfaced to the sensation of Shikamaru's fingers running through his hair, the steady drum of his heartbeat against his cheek. Shikamaru's hold was his anchor, the only thing tethering him to the earth, his body still thrumming with their entwined chakra. He'd never experienced anything like that, that intense, that _powerful._ He brushed his lips along Shikamaru's throat and sank further into his embrace, gave himself over completely. Shikamaru dropped almost-kisses to his brow, his voice barely more than a whisper when he spoke. 

'I felt your chakra as you came. Still feel you under my skin. Like residual healing chakra after a battle, only…' 

Shikamaru groaned as he stretched his shoulders, his legs, the movement shuddering through his body and into Neji's. 

'...maybe nothing like it. _Gods,_ that was...'

He sounded awestruck as he trailed off, and Neji pressed a kiss to his jaw. 

'Mmm…it was.'

He sought Shikamaru's mouth, kissed him slow and soft, basked in the gentle afterglow and the tenderness in Shikamaru's touch. He stroked down Shikamaru's side, drew patterns over his ribs with tingling fingertips as Shikamaru cupped his jaw, traced his cheekbone. He let his wandering hand reach down to press at Shikamaru's thigh and gradually eased himself free from his body. The motion drew a sigh from Shikamaru's lips, and Neji let his fingers linger, stroking over his slick entrance. Shikamaru moaned and caught Neji's gaze, pupils still blown with the remaining tendrils of arousal. 

'Now who's feeling possessive?' 

Neji smirked, pressed a finger just inside Shikamaru's body, licked the stuttered groan from his lips and hummed. 

'Perhaps just a little.'

He dropped another kiss to Shikamaru's mouth as he slipped his finger from him, slowly shifting out from the warmth of his arms and climbing to his feet. Shikamaru whined, and it was almost enough to pull him back to the bed. 

'I'll only be a moment.'

Neji's legs felt like pudding, holding him up with willpower alone as he made his way to the bathroom and found a couple of small cloths to soak in warm water. He glanced at his reflection in the mirror as he wiped himself down, took in his wrecked appearance and the exhausted slope of his shoulders. He felt about five minutes off total collapse but looked so deeply calm, centred. His heartbeat pulsed strong in his veins, his eyes held no shadows, and he wanted to go back to the warmth of Shikamaru's arms and breathe devotion against his skin. Wanted to promise him endless nights like this. 

Wringing out the other towel he returned to the bedroom, pausing when he reached the doorway to take in the sight of Shikamaru sprawled out across the bed. He let his gaze travel over loose limbs, the heavy curve of a thigh and peak of a bent knee, soft cock resting against the crease of a hip, the muscular planes of his stomach and chest. One arm was tucked behind his head, disappearing under the dark fan of hair falling across his pillow, the other bent to lay his hand by the hinge of his jaw, fingers playing with loose curls at his temple. Neji's heart beat heavy in his chest, tender words lingering on the tip of his tongue. He held Shikamaru's gaze as he approached, knelt between his thighs and slowly ran the damp cloth over his chest and stomach, gently down between his legs, let his touch speak for him. 

He dropped the towel by the bed and tugged the blankets over them as he sunk down into Shikamaru's seeking arms, kissed him slow and sweet, watched as moonlight played silver over his skin and dark eyes grew hooded. The world around them was hazy, everything beyond the pair of them utterly out of focus, and Neji lost himself to the press of their lips and soft sighs of their breath. Shikamaru carded fingers through his hair, tucked loose strands behind his ear, trailed his thumb over his brow. 

'Rest. I've got you.'

Neji's breath caught in his chest as Shikamaru echoed his earlier words, the weight of what they held between them settling heavy in his very bones even as it made him feel like he was drifting out amongst celestial bodies. He tangled his fingers with Shikamaru's and brought them to his lips, pressed kisses and whispered words into warm skin. 

'I know, I feel it.'

As sleep gradually pulled him under the last thing he felt was the squeeze of Shikamaru's hand still holding his. 

  
  
  
  


///

  
  
  
  


Neji woke slowly, the unfamiliar room taking form around him in the lingering shadows. He drew in steady breaths and waited for his mind to awaken completely, dreams sinking gently back into his subconscious as he watched the sky begin to lighten through the inky shades of dawn. He'd woken only once during the night, stirring as Shikamaru shifted and curled in to press a kiss to his shoulder before both of them dropped silently back under, their bodies magnetic even in sleep. He'd had more rest than recent days had given him, certainly more than he typically sought, but he still felt tendrils of that deep weariness that came from the mind working overtime for too long. Alongside it beat a steady drumming of calm, a rhythm that had slipped between his ribs the night before and made itself at home. Shikamaru slept on. 

The quiet presence at his back was comforting in a way he never expected such a thing could be, letting someone touch him and stay close while his guard was down so completely. It had been another first for him, spending the night with someone, another part of himself he felt compelled to offer up to Shikamaru. He lay there a little while longer, listening to the soft rise and fall of Shikamaru's breath and luxuriating in the warmth they held between them under the sheets. Somehow Neji resisted the urge to wake him, pull him close and wrap all that vibrant, glowing _life_ around him. He slowly stretched out the muscles in his legs, back, shoulders, felt delicious erotic aches lingering, breathed in the scent of _them_ still heavy in the sheets. He felt good, content. He wanted to get used to this, wanted to greet every sunrise with this feeling of completeness deep behind his ribs. 

He eased his way out of the bed and slipped into a black yukata that he found draped over a chair, fingers tracing silk-thread maple leaves embroidered on the cuff. Something about the idea of borrowing Shikamaru's clothes made his skin heat, and he spared another glance at Shikamaru sprawled out temptingly before he secured the robe and snuck from the room. 

The sight of the tsuboniwa felt just as awe-inspiring as it had the night before and he reached out to brush fingers over maple leaves that had not quite started to burn for the season yet. Shikamaru had created so much _peace_ here. He quietly made his way through the house, gaze lingering on photos and trinkets lining shelves along the wall, little sentimental things that his own home, by stark comparison, utterly lacked. The Hyūga compound had always been cold, impersonal, even his own room there was a testament to how well he hid himself amongst people who would never truly embrace him. Hinata was as close as he got to having an exception to the rule, Hanabi too in some ways. But he had learned long ago that it was far safer to keep his walls high, even with them. Safer for all of them. 

Being here, in the warmth of Shikamaru's home with a heart so full it made his chest ache, made him long to hold on to this glimpse of another life. One where he could live without fear, without obligations to his clan that reduced him to something less than human. A faceless pawn piece in their games, trapped in a cage as old and enduring as the clan itself. He wanted to tear it all down so that he could keep this, here, now. His lover asleep in their bed and pictures on the walls, simple, quiet things. He wondered how long he could get away with this before the inevitable battle ended up on their doorstep. 

He sighed a deep breath and pushed back against the creeping sense of old despair as he paused at the bathroom sink. He ran Shikamaru's brush through his hair and worked the tangles out carefully, let the repetitive motion center him. Snagging a hair tie off the handle he pulled the long mass of soft strands back into a tail before splashing water on his face and finally raising his gaze to the mirror. He looked tired, the result of these last few restless days that belonged to Shikamaru just as much as the night before did. The shadows under his lashes held testament to it, the velvet-dark bruises down his throat and chest left by Shikamaru's mouth the blissful evidence. But his eyes, when he met them, stared back bright and steady. Defiant. Full of the same calm that he'd glimpsed there the previous night reinforced with steely determination. Something had shifted in him, come alive, and it offered up a strength born from having something precious to fight for. Let them come for him, let them try. He'd battled impossible things all his life, what was one more? 

He made his way into the kitchen and spent a long moment taking it all in from the doorway before venturing further. The same kind of ordered chaos was evident here too and it spoke of _abundance,_ of warmth and comfort, a space so well stocked with tools and provisions than he imagined many restaurants would be envious. Shikamaru _cooked._ The discovery made something warm shimmer in his chest. Neji's lip ticked up at the thought as he peered into the fridge stacked full of plastic containers, wondered if he'd been cooking to distract himself these past few days. He indulged the urge to explore as he wandered around the room, cupboards filled with dry goods and worn cookware, bundles of herbs hanging to air, the suggestion of ample culinary skills fairly obvious the more he nosed about. It didn't entirely surprise him, after all Shikamaru seemed to master the things he applied himself to, but he'd never pictured him standing at a kitchen bench surrounded by steaming pots and cutting boards covered in vegetables, and the idea was starkly domestic and _ridiculously_ appealing. They had been too distracted with one another to eat last night, and he was starving now as a result, perhaps he could coax Shikamaru in here this morning. He mulled over the thought as he busied himself making tea and wandered out to the veranda to settle down in the first beams of morning sunshine. 

The Nara forest stretched out around him as though it had opened itself up to make room for Shikamaru's home, cradling it's favourite son safely away from the rest of the world. He wondered how often Shikamaru sat and watched the trees like Neji did now, if he lost himself in the peace here too, the soft rustle of life all around him unwinding something in him long enough to allow him to draw deep breath and find his balance. Neji stroked his fingers over the timber grain of the veranda, ash-grey weathered boards limned in golden morning light, the foundations of a building that had withstood many years unphased by the complications of brief human lives. He wasn't sure if the thought made him feel safer, or just insignificant. 

He folded his legs into a loose lotus and took a slow breath, held it deep in his belly and felt the quiet hum of his chakra responding as he willed himself to remain present in his calm centre on the exhale. Activating his Byakugan on the next breath he let his awareness stretch out to incorporate the rest of the cabin, the forest, out into the depths of the Nara land. Shikamaru stirring under warm blankets, the kettle full of still-steaming water on the stove, birds scavenging for bugs in the morning dew, deer leaving the shelter of the treeline to seek sun-warmth in an open field. The harmony of all things breathing together, energy flowing out like ripples on a pond, shifting and changing the course of life in a silent dance of cause and effect. He felt his chakra swirl through his body, watched the play of light and shadow, casting out a ripple of his own as he imagined what the act of simply being here was influencing. 

He felt the subtle shift of chakra in the house behind him as Shikamaru woke, rose from their bed and stretched while he searched for clothes. Neji drew the focus of his dojutsu back to his own body, to the warm coil of energy banking steadily beneath his navel. He'd become so practised at funneling that chakra to other, less distracting, centers in his tenketsu network that it was almost second nature, but since the previous afternoon he'd allowed it to pulse there, powerful and sensual, sexual energy suffusing his meridian lines with heat. The way they'd played with its potential last night, channelling it into sync with their bodies, was like nothing he'd ever experienced, an intensity that made him ache just to think about. His chakra still felt charged with it, the balance point in his core sitting slightly lower than usual, accommodating the sensation. He could redirect it as he always did and cool it into something more measured but part of him was curious now, tempted by the thought of working with this energy in its natural form, his body simmering with desire, a new ingredient into the mix. 

The sound of Shikamaru walking across the veranda drew his attention, and he cycled through one more breath before deactivating his dojutsu and relaxing his posture as he glanced over. He let his gaze travel slowly over Shikamaru's body, the carved vee of his abdomen disappearing into soft black lounge pants hanging low on his hips, wine-red silk haori draped over his shoulders, the delicate fabric pouring over his cut form, muscled chest bare in the morning light and kissed with bruises, hair still hanging loose. They were both powerful men, bodies trained for fighting and conditioned to their peak over many years, but where Neji knew he was built for speed and endurance, physique more akin to a dancer, heavily muscled but leaner, Shikamaru was just solid strength. Years spent tending the Nara deer herd and working their lands with his father had gifted him a body packed with dense muscle, powerful legs and corded arms, shoulders carved from marble. Artists sculpted statues less impressive. Neji's heartbeat tripped a complicated hammer in his chest, arousal spiking as he watched Shikamaru draw close, focus lingering appreciatively at eye-level where the soft drape of those pants did absolutely nothing to disguise the silhouette of his heavy cock. _Kami, give him strength._ He tore his gaze away as Shikamaru lifted his mug to smirking lips and scattered the rising steam with a steady breath, eyes staring down at Neji, flashing with knowing amusement. He ran fingers along the collar of Neji's yukata as he passed behind him, coming to sit by his side. 

'Hmmm…I like you wearing my clothes.'

His voice was sleep-heavy, rasping over the words, and Neji's blood flared hot. He'd never seen the appeal in someone laying claim to him before, the idea had always made his instincts snarl. Until now. 

'Still feeling a little possessive, Nara?' 

Shikamaru met his gaze and held it as he put the mug down between them, crawling over to straddle Neji's lap, movements slow and deliberate. 

'Yeah, so it would seem. I'm sensing a theme here.' 

The kiss was a shallow press of lips and tongue, a tease, a promise, the edge of a blade that could tip either way. Neji hummed into it, rested his hands under the haori on Shikamaru's hips, fingertips curving over the top of his ass. Shikamaru settled himself heavier into the cradle of Neji's thighs, cupped a hand to his jaw and brushed his lips over Neji's cheekbone, gentle laughter warm against his skin. 

_'Gods,_ there had better not be any emergencies for a while, I can't focus on anything except the thought of getting you naked.'

Neji echoed the light sound, Shikamaru's smile soft and open as he reached for his coffee and took a long sip from the mug. He slipped his fingers under the waistband of Shikamaru's pants and rubbed little circles into his warm skin, humming in agreement as he dropped a brief kiss to the curve of his shoulder. Shikamaru's smile gentled into something tinged with longing. 

'I want you to stay.'

Neji met his gaze, felt the significance of wordless desires settle between them. 

'For how long?' 

His heart pounded in his chest, the question holding more complexity than his casual words let on, wondering if Shikamaru would hear him, if he might be feeling the same way. The hunger that burned between them was intense and Neji wanted to let it consume him, consume them both. But there was a softer need in his heart too, a yearning to make a home here in Shikamaru's arms. His awareness of it had woken up last night and hadn't lost any of its potency while they slept, if anything, the light of day had only made him more certain. Whatever had been growing between them these past months was more powerful than he'd been expecting, more welcome. More necessary. And now that he was beginning to grasp the significance of what it could be he wanted to hold it tight and precious and never let go. Shikamaru rolled his lip between his teeth, voice quiet and serious, gaze unwavering. 

'As long as I can have you.'

Neji's pulse skipped, his hands clutching at Shikamaru's hips to drag him closer, their lips seeking one another's, everything they'd left unspoken passing between them in the kiss. Embers swirled in his belly, every scrape of teeth and swipe of tongue stoking oxygen into the growing heat, and Neji felt that precarious tipping point tilting towards another wild burn. He groaned against Shikamaru's mouth. 

'You walk out here looking like something straight out of a 2am fever-dream, climb into my lap and whisper to me like this, and _kami_ all I want is to lay you out and devour you. Surely we should be doing sensible things like having breakfast, talking about what we do next?'

Shikamaru huffed a laugh that shifted into a deep, rumbling purr as Neji tugged their hips together. 

'Mmm…you know, that request would be more convincing if you weren't currently hard as steel and grinding against me.'

Neji groaned as Shikamaru pressed forward, met every movement that he couldn't seem to bring himself to stop. The slow tease of friction wasn't quite enough to escalate things, their bodies dancing carefully on the edge of torture. Neji plucked the mug from Shikamaru's fingers and stole a mouthful of the dark brew before setting it aside. He kissed the smirk from Shikamaru's lips, ran his fingers through his hair, savoured the soft pleasure of being allowed to do such a thing. 

'So, breakfast and planning, hmn? Or you can keep me here a little longer and tell me more about this fever-dream I remind you of…'

Neji let his hands drift lower, snaking back under the haori and tracing the curve of ribs, down to meet at the base of his spine, fingers dipping softly along the cleft of his ass and drawing a shivery sound from deep in Shikamaru's chest. He'd give Shikamaru every truth lingering on the tip of his tongue if that's what he wanted. He brushed his lips over Shikamaru's jaw, mouthed kisses below his ear, spilled lush words against his skin. 

'Would you like that? Want me to tell you how beautiful you are? How hard I'm falling?' 

Shikamaru hummed, pressing back into Neji's hands and wrapping his arms around his shoulders. 

'Shall I tell you how you walk into a room and instantly hold me captivated. That it has been like that for some time now. That in recent months I would wake from dreams aching, _burning,_ your name on my lips, wondering if perhaps you were dreaming of me too.'

Shikamaru's fingers dragged along Neji's scalp, tugged loose his hair tie and carded through the long strands. 

'Neji, gods, _yes.'_

The tempo of their dance picked up, fire crackling along Neji's synapses, heat flushing their skin. He slipped a hand free from Shikamaru's pants and snaked it between them, worked to free Shikamaru's cock and wrapped him in a firm grip, barely moving, fingertips dragging just under the swollen head. A drawn out moan stuttered from Shikamaru's lips, hands disentangling from Neji's hair to untie his yukata and push it aside, grasping his cock in clever fingers. They rocked together, held one another, hands stroking, clutching, arms anchoring their bodies close and lips feeding each other breath. Neji's voice dropped to a broken whisper. 

'And _gods_ Shikamaru, you _are_ beautiful. You send me to my knees. My own personal cataclysm.'

Shikamaru's gaze flicked to his, heavy with arousal and something that felt like wonder. He tangled his fingers with Neji's, drew their cocks into a shared grip, and Neji moaned softly as their lengths dragged together. Shikamaru leant in to lick the sound from his lips. 

'You steal words from my tongue. Leave me reeling. I'm on my knees too, Neji.'

They worked each other slow and steady, fingers catching on sensitive flesh, heat pouring over them in waves. The morning sunlight lit up their skin and the forest kept them sheltered, hidden away from the rest of the world. It felt like their own private sanctuary, like if Neji squinted he could catch a glimpse of an alternate life where neither of them were beholden to tradition and expectation, where they could be together without repercussions. Even a little taste of that felt dangerous, addictive. He wanted to let himself hope, let himself hold onto the possibility that perhaps that reality needn't be so far fetched. They were here now after all, falling into one another, driven by the need that had sparked between them and the trust that seemed to reach down into places they'd both kept cold for too long. A week ago he would never have imagined they'd find this much together, that all of this was just waiting to light them up. Maybe there'd be a way to keep it. 

Shikamaru's nose brushed across his cheekbone, lips pressed breathy kisses to the corner of his mouth and Neji drank down every stuttering, quiet sound, fed them back to him. Their hands kept the pace, held it even as their noises grew sharper, grips becoming tighter, slicker. Neji felt the throbbing need pressing hot in the base of his spine, restrained the urge to move faster, kept them slow, slow, the swirl of energy below his navel burning and pulsing in sync with their movements. He let a lick of chakra pass over his fingers, and the sound it shredded from both of their lips tasted like the sweetest agony. It felt like his orgasm was being torn from him thread by thread, the first drops of his release spilling over their fingers, Shikamaru gasping his name as their hands grew hot and wet, dripping, rhythm still holding, working each other slow and tight. Tremors wracked his body, his cock still pulsing as Shikamaru tensed in his arms, moaning long and sweet as he came. 

Neji stroked them through the retreating waves, eyes growing wide as Shikamaru dragged his hand away and brought Neji's fingers to his lips, sucking them into his mouth, licking them clean as their gazes met. The moment Shikamaru let them slip free Neji was leaning in, capturing his lips, groaning at their combined taste on his tongue. His body was a live wire, sparks of pleasure still popping and crackling, his chakra flowing with a powerful current through his energy centers. It felt like the edge had been taken off but only barely, and _gods,_ he could live like this, at the mercy of this hunger. He brushed another kiss across Shikamaru's mouth and wrapped his arms low around his back, Shikamaru returning the embrace as he shifted to lean his brow against Neji's shoulder. 

They held each other for long minutes, let the quiet settle gently between them as hands and lips caressed warm skin, the forest breathing around them. It felt peaceful in the way their silences always tended to be, its own kind of meditation. 

Shikamaru pressed a kiss to his shoulder and reached for his coffee mug, grimacing as he determinedly drank the rest of its contents. 

'Cold. Ugh. Come on, let's go get cleaned up before I just lay down here in the sun and fall asleep again.'

He was adjusting his pants and climbing out of Neji's lap in the next breath, offering him a hand up with an easy smile. Neji let himself be tugged to his feet, distracted enough by the sight of Shikamaru haloed in sunlight, breeze tousling his hair, that he entirely disregarded his own open robe dancing in the wind. Shikamaru wrapped the collar of the yukata around his fists and pulled Neji into a kiss, manhandling him across the veranda. 

'Hng…this is such a good fucking look on you. New rule. You need to be wandering around my house barely dressed at all times.'

Neji laughed and settled his hands on Shikamaru's waist. 

'Only if you promise the same. Although, we may never get anything done.'

Shikamaru growled, playful and hot, bit lightly at the hinge of Neji's jaw as he steered them through the house and into the bathroom. 

'Oh I don't know, reckon we'd get at least a few things done.'

Neji groaned as he kissed the smirk off Shikamaru's lips, pushing him up against the sink and reaching one hand to run the taps. He trailed kisses down Shikamaru's neck, his chest, took a nipple between his teeth and sucked until Shikamaru moaned. He was watching Neji through shuttered eyes, lips parted, heat flushing his throat, and it would be so easy to keep going, to take them higher again. To beg for everything that Shikamaru was already wordlessly offering. Shikamaru shimmied out of his ruined pants and kicked them aside as Neji retrieved a hand towel and soaked it in warm water, his gaze passing heavy over Shikamaru's body. He wrung out the towel and cleaned him slowly, attentively, let Shikamaru take it from him as he finished and rinse it. Shikamaru leant forward to brush his lips over Neji's cheek as he ran the damp cloth over his stomach, returning every gesture with equal care, words breathed softly against his skin. 

'The way you touch me…'

A kiss to his temple and Neji let his eyes drift shut, buried his fingers in Shikamaru's hair, let himself bask in the gentle contact and whispered confessions. 

'...I don't ever want you to stop. Just want to keep you close, keep your hands on me, keep touching you too.'

Neji hummed deep in his chest, took the cloth from Shikamaru's hand and dropped it into the sink, wrapped his arms around his waist and pulled him flush. Shikamaru mouthed at his throat, soft kisses and barely-there swipes of his tongue that drew another shuddering sound from Neji's lips. 

'I know we should go make something to eat, but not gonna lie, I'm kinda tempted to dig some chakra pills out of my kit for us and then just take you back to bed.' 

Neji laughed as he pressed a kiss into Shikamaru's hair, brushed his lips over his temple, and honestly, that didn't sound like a bad idea to him. _Gods,_ Shikamaru had been right, there'd better not be any emergencies because his brain was just awash with thoughts of the endless ways they could get lost in each other. He took a steadying breath, tried to coax his pulse to a calmer pace. 

'If it weren't for my suspicion that you're guarding some impressive culinary skills that I am hoping to witness I'd be looking for the damn chakra pills myself. Spending the whole day in bed has never sounded so appealing.'

Shikamaru leant away enough to meet Neji's gaze, his smile teasing and open, his whole demeanor soft. Shikamaru with his walls down was a beautiful sight and Neji wanted more of it, wanted to be the one to draw all this lightness free. 

'Ahhhh, my Secret Kitchen Jutsu, handed down from determined mother to reluctant son. Suppose I had better get some pants on then.'

He pushed away from the sink, leading with his hips in a sensual sway that brushed their bodies against each other one last time before he pivoted towards the door. Neji bit back the groan on his tongue as he watched him move. Shikamaru laughed as he left the room. 

'Go make us tea. If you follow me we won't leave the bedroom, I don't have that much self-restraint.' 

Neji hesitated, so deeply tempted to just forget about breakfast altogether and devour Shikamaru instead. He glanced at himself in the mirror, the smile shaping his mouth, the softness around his eyes, a light in him that felt both foreign and like arriving home under a guiding star. For everything he was setting loose in Shikamaru the same was being done to him in return, unravelling him, freeing him. He almost didn't recognise himself, and he would never have imagined seeing a stranger in the mirror could feel like the sweetest rebirth.

  
  
  
  


///

  
  
  
  


Shikamaru leant over the kitchen bench loading a bamboo steamer with dumplings from a huge plastic container. Perfectly shaped crescent moons pinched into delicate pleats, and gods, they had joked about Shikamaru's skills in the kitchen but there was no down-playing the ability it required to produce these tiny works of art. And the volume, good lord. Neji suspected they could eat for days and would barely make a dent in the amount of food in the kitchen. 

'So, I've been turning this over in my head, and I keep coming up against the same problem…'

Neji knew. It was the same thing he'd been mulling over for days. 

'My clan.'

To say the Hyūga would be less than supportive of his choice in partner was an appalling understatement. They'd overlook _indiscretions,_ but anything more substantial than seeking occasional nighttime company was entirely controlled and it was only a matter of time before the elders caught wind of things and stepped in. There were expectations when it came to relationships, when it came to his _legacy,_ and as if Shikamaru's gender wasn't damning enough the fact that Neji had chosen someone of his own volition without consideration for the wishes of his elders, well. It just wasn't done. The consequences would be severe for such a show of disrespect.

'Hmn, yeah. I mean, we could keep this from them? Not a permanent solution. I don't imagine we can avoid the battle forever, but it would buy us some time. Unless, you know, you wanna go charging in there chakra blazing…'

Shikamaru smirked as Neji cocked an eyebrow. He couldn't help but laugh a little at the notion of the two of them taking on the Hyūga household in a righteous fury. It would be a disaster. 

'...or we could just vanish beyond the borders. Go rogue.'

Neji knew it was supposed to sound like another joke, and maybe it actually was. But there was something in Shikamaru's tone to suggest he'd genuinely considered that as an option for them, and some breathless part of Neji wanted to say _let's leave tonight._ Shikamaru's gaze was locked tight on him, measuring his reaction, clocking every thought that was no doubt written all over his face. He reached to cup Shikamaru's jaw and tugged him forward into a brief kiss, kept his tone light. 

'Perhaps as a last resort.'

Shikamaru brushed his lips over the corner of Neji's mouth, a smile shaping his lips as he hummed. 

'Secrets are a risk, but I've been thinking the same thing. Keeping my clan in the dark for now would give us some time to strategize. And I think perhaps I ought to seek council with Hinata, she may be able to help us.'

His cousin always had a better sense of the emotional landscape of their clan than he did. To Neji, they all seemed like an icy, united front. Hinata saw the cracks, the soft points, her empathetic nature allowing her the unique ability to flow like water around mental obstacles. She'd make a great leader, if they ever gave her the chance. 

'Which brings us to my next thought. We're gonna have to tell the rest of them. All of them. Ino would flay me alive if she found out I'd kept this from her, and she _would_ find out. And Choji would be hurt, which would be objectively much, much worse. It's a slippery slope from there.'

A wave of panic lurched in his gut. Ino and Choji were like Shikamaru's siblings, closer, perhaps. Neji didn't know them well but he trusted them as an extension of Shikamaru's judgement. Understood that they would be part of the package deal of being in Shikamaru's life. His team were similar, though he'd never really let them get as close as maybe he should have. There was an old ache in his chest there, guilt mingled with a gratefulness that he never expressed enough. He hoped they knew anyway. And it wasn't that he didn't trust the others as such, more their ability to be discreet. He suspected some of them didn't even know what the word meant. That concern aside, they'd all be taking a risk too, standing with them to keep his clan in the dark. It could all backfire spectacularly, and then they'd all be facing the repercussions. Why would they take that chance? 

'I'd be lying if I said it didn't make me nervous. Hinata would protect me in this, she understands what our clan would do to me, understands the risks. Lee and Tenten. Ino and Choji, of course. But all the others? For you, I'm sure they'd want to help, but…'

Shikamaru pulled back far enough to cut him off with a particularly determined gaze. 

'Neji. They would help _us._ You aren't as much of an outsider to them as you think you are. They care. You should pay closer attention.'

That soft smile was back, curving the corner of Shikamaru's lip, and it was impossible to ignore the conviction in his voice. Neji sighed. It would be a leap of faith, then. 

'Alright. We tell them, ask for their help.'

A hand on his wrist, squeezing, encouragement and comfort both.

'Mmmhmm. Here, try this.'

Shikamaru plucked a dumpling from the steamer and held it out, expression blossoming with fondness as Neji leant in and allowed himself to be fed. The dumpling was incredible, bright ginger and a spike of lemongrass, rich sesame and pork and just a flash of chili, perfectly balanced, perhaps the best gyoza he'd eaten in his life and he couldn't stop himself from groaning in pleasure.

_'Kami.'_

Shikamaru's smile broadened even as he ducked his head a little at the compliment, busying himself with removing the basket from the steamer and loading another. 

'So we throw up smokescreens, get them to help run interference, a bit of misdirection. Because the Hokage isn't gonna feel much more sympathetic than your clan, I suspect. Too much possibility of operational conflict of interest, particularly in the field. But she'll turn a blind eye if we give her room to, just like they all do.'

Neji took the food to the table before they just ended up eating at the bench. Colleagues got involved with one another all the time, and the Hokage always ignored it unless it caused problems. His concern was what she might do if his clan started sniffing around. The elders held a great deal of political sway, they always had done, so if this was going to work they'd have to ensure Tsunade could maintain a believable ignorance.

'Plausible deniability.'

Shikamaru followed him to the table with plates and handed over a set of chopsticks as he sprawled into a chair in a manner that seemed to defy gravity. 

'Precisely. Not like we're setting a precedent here.'

And no, they certainly weren't. But the stakes were high, the Hyūga clan had the power to make Tsunade's life very difficult if they chose to, and the pair of them would eventually need her on their side when the elders found out. They were going to have to tread very carefully. 

They ate in comfortable silence for a while, Shikamaru retrieving another basket of dumplings as they emptied the first. Neji let himself relax into the quiet domesticity of it all, the pair of them at the kitchen table, morning sunlight pouring in the windows, the sound of a breeze sighing through the forest. Everything warm and peaceful. His gaze slipped back to Shikamaru, lounging deep in his chair with an elbow barely propping him up on the table, legs stretched out wide. Inviting and open, everything about him drawing Neji in, those hooded eyes watching him back. 

For months he'd been so fearful of pursuing something with Shikamaru, of all the ways it could go wrong, of the possibility of rejection or of ruining their friendship. He'd pulled away from every whisper of _but what if it went right,_ and even after Shikamaru had hurtled them over the line the other night in the forest Neji had been scared that wanting more would end badly. Now the only thing he was afraid of was the possibility of losing this. Shikamaru reached for the teapot and poured for them both, fingers grazing Neji's as he slid the cup closer. 

'If you keep looking at me like that I'm gonna give in to my growing desire to test the structural integrity of the dining table.'

His husky tone made Neji's skin heat, and gods, all that hunger felt so close to the surface. He felt a teasing response on the tip of his tongue half a beat before he became aware of a chakra signature crossing out from the treeline. 

'We have company.'

Shikamaru tensed as Neji activated his dojutsu for a moment. 

'What were we planning on telling your father?' 

Shikamaru's answering groan was enough to huff a resigned laugh past Neji's lips. Shikaku was a force unto himself. Cleverness ran in the family, not to mention a deadly perceptiveness that combined meant lying would be utterly pointless. Perhaps if the man wasn't currently knocking on the front door they'd have had some options. As it was, however...

'Brace yourself.'

Shikamaru dragged himself to his feet and leant in to drop a kiss to Neji's brow, a gentle reminder that his hitai-ate was still sitting on the bathroom sink, before turning down the hallway. Neji took a moment to breathe before extracting himself from the kitchen to retrieve his headband. 

He felt slightly more prepared and less exposed as he secured it back in place, though the absurdity of that thought hadn't escaped him as he walked back towards the kitchen sporting visible bite marks and Shikamaru's clothes, his own yukata still lying with Shikamaru's pants on the lounge room floor. He willed the spike of panic in his chest to settle and collected a third teacup as he took his seat at the table again, refilling their cups as Shikamaru and his father walked into the room. He hesitated over the third cup, glancing up to meet Shikaku's amused stare. 

'Good morning Nara-san. Tea?' 

His gravelly laugh was so like Shikamaru's that Neji felt a little of his worry subside if not any of his nerves. 

'Sure, why not.'

Shikaku took a seat at the end of the table, amused grin not faltering for a second, clearly entertained by the air of awkward tension in the room. Shikamaru put another basket of dumplings on the table, cheeks a little flushed as he sat back down. Silence held. Neji sipped his tea. Shikaku watched them both, let the moment drag out before he barked out another laugh and swiped a dumpling from the steamer with his fingers. 

'The Hyūga are gonna lose their minds…'

Shikamaru gave Neji a pained look before turning his attention to Shikaku. 

'Dad, come on…'

Shikaku held his hands up in a pacifying gesture, shrugging his shoulders as he chewed and swallowed. 

'I'm not objecting, I just hope you two have a plan, that's all.'

Neji busied his hands tidying the teapot and fought the urge to continue fidgeting. 

'We're working on one, Nara-san, but your assistance would certainly be appreciated.'

Shikaku hummed as he reached for another dumpling, his gaze holding Neji's for a moment before flicking to Shikamaru as he ate. 

'These are delicious, son. Might even put your mother's to shame.'

He polished off his last bite and picked up his teacup, stare unwavering as he drank, Shikamaru watching him back with equal intensity, skilled tacticians negotiating terms before making their moves. The wordless conversation passed back and forth between them, Shikaku's casual statements nothing more than grounding points scattered amongst heavier subtext. 

'Don't tell her I said that, she'd have my head.'

Neji took in the exchange in silence, the tension between the pair of them enough to make him long for the ground to open up and swallow him whole. 

_'Dad…'_

Shikaku cut him off with another raised hand, sudden, sharp this time. A decision made. They'd have his support or they wouldn't, either way Shikaku would no doubt be the definition of an immovable object. Neji almost wanted to pray. 

'Your mother sent me. She's in one of her cooking moods and wants you to come for dinner. Wants you to bring Ino and Choji, make a night of it, you know how she gets.'

His tone was still conversational, but his body language had hairs prickling on the back of Neji's neck, the look he swung Neji's way doing nothing to dispel the sense of unease. 

'You should join us too, Neji.'

Neji inclined his head in gratitude, voice apparently having abandoned him. Shikaku studied them both a while longer before slowly standing, sighing as he tucked his chair back in and leant against it. The tension seemed to bleed out of him in a rush as he shook his head. 

'I'll help. Look, of course I'll help. Dinner first, toppling generations of Hyūga tradition later, alright?' 

Neji released the breath he didn't realise he'd been holding as Shikaku rounded the table. He wasn't sure what he would be willing to do for them, what he'd risk, but they needed any help they could get and having the elder Nara in their corner might make all the difference in the long run. 

'Thank you, Nara-san.'

He didn't expect the laugh he got in response, but Shikaku was back to sounding amused, which Neji assumed was a good sign. 

'Might be better to wish me luck than to thank me.'

Shikamaru stood and held out the basket of dumplings and Neji quietly took in another wordless exchange between the two Nara men as Shikaku helped himself. 

'Come on, walk your old man out. See you tonight Neji.'

Shikamaru squeezed Neji's shoulder as he moved to follow Shikaku, flashing him a brief smile that seemed so relieved Neji couldn't help but return it. Perhaps that had all gone better than Neji had thought. He glanced towards the doorway where Shikaku was observing them, expression fond, and had the sense that they had just cleared their first massive hurdle. 

Neji wanted to collapse on the table with sudden exhaustion as they left the room but curbed the urge for dramatics to instead get up and tidy the kitchen. He glanced down the hallway and watched for a moment as Shikamaru lingered on the veranda with his father, turning away as the elder man pulled his son into a hug. 

He wondered what his own father would have thought of their situation, if Hizashi would have given them his blessing, would have faced their clan at his side. The pang of longing in his chest wasn't terribly unfamiliar, but the warm feeling that settled alongside it at the knowledge that Shikamaru got to have that bond with his father, that was entirely new. It tempered things, somehow, made the lost piece of his own life seem a little easier to bear. 

He ran hot water into the sink and made quick work of washing up their few dishes, turning the stove on to heat the kettle again as Shikamaru came back into the room. The feeling of those strong arms wrapping around his waist as Shikamaru pressed up against his back loosened the final thread of tension that had been gripping his shoulders since Shikaku had first arrived. Shikamaru kissed his neck, nuzzled into his hair, rested his chin on Neji's shoulder. 

'He asked me how serious this was.'

He hummed and tilted his head to give Shikamaru better access as he pressed his mouth to the sensitive skin behind Neji's ear, the brush of lips sending a shiver down his spine as Shikamaru whispered against his neck. 

'I told him I've never felt so serious about anything in my life and it's scaring the shit outta me.'

Neji's breath caught in his throat and he turned in Shikamaru's arms to meet his gaze, framed his face gently with his hands, fingertips burying in his hair, thumbs tracing his temples and smoothing away the anxious tightness at the corners of his eyes. Neji felt it too, the nerves, the worry, the bone-deep exhilaration. 

'Mmmm. It's overwhelming, isn't it?' 

Shikamaru hummed as he leant in to kiss him and Neji tasted relief in the urgency of his movements, invited the kiss to deepen as Shikamaru pressed him back against the bench. He ran his hands through Shikamaru's hair, fingertips pressing into his scalp in a gentle massage and tangling in the soft strands. Their lips caught, tongues dipping into mouths in a soft tease, breath falling a little faster as their bodies grew warm against each other. Shikamaru's hands wandered, stroked down Neji's chest, gripped at his hips. Neji pulled back just enough to cinch their brows and draw breath. 

'So you need to go and see Ino and Choji? Make sure it's not just you and I alone with your parents?'

Shikamaru was chasing him, kissing him again before he could quite finish speaking, playful and teasing as he hummed against his mouth, bit at his bottom lip. Neji felt laughter bubble up from his chest, sparkling and light, Shikamaru's mouth curving into a smirk against his skin as he brushed his lips across Neji's jaw, dropped kisses there between words. 

'Mmm yeah, the sooner the better. Now, if I'm sensible. If they make plans we'll be stuck and quite frankly there's no fucking way I'm gonna let our night look like that.'

Neji didn't disagree even a little. 

'I'm guessing all this means you're okay with dinner?'

He dragged Shikamaru's mouth back for another fast kiss.

'Mmmhmm, not quite how I envisaged today going but fine nonetheless. Who knows, it might even be good. As long as you don't reach Ino and Choji too late.'

His teasing remark lost any weight it may have held when he moaned softly, Shikamaru's lips trailing a distracting path to his ear, teeth grazing the lobe and breath falling hot against the shell. 

'Do you wanna come with me, or do you want to stay here, give me a reason to hurry?' 

Neji tipped his head back a little as Shikamaru's mouth worked down his throat. 

'Perhaps I should wait here. I don't think it would help our plan for discretion if I walk through Konoha like this, wearing your clothes and covered in bruises that don't exactly look like battle injuries…'

Shikamaru ran his tongue over the marks on his neck, sucked gently at the deepest, and Neji's pulse stuttered with the flash of heat in his blood. He slipped his arms around Shikamaru's waist under the haori, held him close, massaged at his warm skin. They were growing hard against one another again but neither of them moved to ignite the burn, the gratifying ache of mutual arousal its own indulgence. 

A week ago Neji was forcing himself to control his urges, to look away and school his expression, to derail his thoughts before his body could give away his desire. Just a handful of days between wanting something he thought he couldn't have and being here in Shikamaru's kitchen, pressed against him, touching and tasting and basking in Shikamaru's responsiveness. The knowledge kept making him stumble, like tripping on a footpath and realising the only thing in your way had been your own feet. 

'If you like I can ask Ino to heal them for you before dinner? I've watched her heal plenty of her own, think getting carried away is a recurring theme of her relationship with Kiba. Kinda thought I could wear a sweater and just cover most of mine.'

He was working his way up the other side of Neji's neck, hot breath and plush lips catching and dragging over his skin, and Neji leant a little more of his weight against the bench. He'd keep every single bite mark exactly where they were if he could. 

'Mmm…maybe…'

Shikamaru's tongue swept over his pulse point, a nip of teeth following, and Neji's breath rattled free between words. 

'...suffering the indignity of Ino healing bite marks may actually be preferable to being introduced to your mother whilst still covered in them.'

Shikamaru laughed, humming in agreement as he took Neji's mouth again, kiss deep and leisurely. He tasted like jasmine tea, the lingering flavour of the dumplings beneath it, breath coming a little rough as it spilled hot between them. Neji dragged his palms up the warm planes of his back, bracketed his ribs with fingers spread wide and Shikamaru rolled his hips languorously where they were pressed close. Neji moaned softly at the friction, at the temptation, flames licking deep below his navel. 

'I thought you were leaving…'

He sucked at Shikamaru's lip, swallowed down the shivery sound it drew from him, chased it with his tongue. Shikamaru's hands had travelled to cup his jaw, to bury in his hair, hold gentle and seeking by turns. Neji slipped a hand down to grip his ass, massaged at the curve where it met the top of his thigh, encouraging their grind. Shikamaru groaned. 

'I was…'

Neji reclaimed his lips, pressed a thigh between Shikamaru's and welcomed the way Shikamaru hitched them closer, wrapping a leg around to rub his heel down Neji's calf. The slow, sweet sway of their bodies left Neji lightheaded, the sun streaming through the window warming his back, the press of Shikamaru's body against his, he was utterly lost to it all, spellbound and freefalling. Shikamaru moaned against his lips, breathy and pleasure-drunk. 

'I was definitely leaving…' 

He licked into Shikamaru's mouth around the words, hands continuing to stroke and knead at his heated skin and heavy muscle, head spinning with arousal. With love. His heart stuttered as his mind stumbled over that little word again, the weight of it, the way it felt inevitable and undeniably _right._ He wanted to sweep Shikamaru into his arms and carry him back to bed, spend long days wrapped up in him, let his body tell him everything that was leaving him speechless. He deepened the kiss, heart recovering its rhythm and drumming strong and steady in his chest. 

_'Neji…'_

Shikamaru sounded so caught up in their pleasure and Neji could listen to his name on repeat in that husky tone forever. He dropped another kiss to his mouth, wanted to keep him there but knew he should be ushering him out the door. Another kiss, and another, another, a few stolen moments more before he eased back, lips catching in the retreat. 

'You wanted a reason to hurry back, yes?' 

He smiled as he spoke against Shikamaru's mouth, tasted the warm huff of breath from his exasperated laugh, stroked over his hips as he untangled their legs. Another grazing brush of lips and Shikamaru was relaxing his hold, draping his arms heavy over Neji's shoulders, fingers combing softly through his hair. He leant back enough to catch Shikamaru's gaze, those knowing eyes sparkling with gold in the morning light streaming through the window and Neji felt himself smiling at the warmth in Shikamaru's expression. Felt that tiny word on the tip of his tongue waiting to be spoken, delicate and precious, a promise held for another time. He framed Shikamaru's face with soft hands, kissed him deep, one last hot, indulgent press of lips before he turned Shikamaru in his arms and gave him a light shove towards his bedroom. 

'Get dressed. Go and convince Ino and Choji to be our buffer for a potentially very awkward dinner, and I'll be here when you get back.'

Shikamaru laughed as he walked from the room, threw one last easy smile over his shoulder as he slipped into the hallway, stirring up a riot of butterflies in Neji's stomach. 

He turned to brace his hands on the edge of the kitchen bench and gazed out the window, watched the forest swaying with the breeze, birds flitting through branches, everything peaceful and golden and warm. Slow and honeyed. Their path forward curving just out of sight but joy spreading under his skin rather than fear at the thought of all the unknowns. It felt like a premonition of days to come, a vision of something he never allowed himself to even dream he'd find only to have woken up in a world where it was suddenly here, suddenly _his,_ where he got to sink into the waiting arms of a future he was finally looking forward to. 

  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Shout out to Ms T as always for being an indispensable part of this whole Being A Human Who Is Alive thing. And for listening to me talk endlessly about ninjas having sex <3
> 
> \---
> 
> Find me at littleaccomplice.tumblr.com where I’m reblogging stuff and tagging things badly. <3 is always appreciated if you enjoyed my rambling words!


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